Tuesday, February 26, 2013


    So about six or eight months ago I decided to look for a replacement for my falling apart purse. I have had this Louis V knock off for about three years now and the straps are unraveling and it just looks cheaper and cheaper every time I see it. I try to avoid eye contact with this thing, it's getting pretty bad.
    As embarrassed as I am to carry it, I still can't find a suitable replacement in the reasonably priced purses. I continue to carry this dirty old bag as a constant reminder of what I must do to get the ONE and only purse great enough to replace it. Seriously  this is like the one purse to rule them all, at least it is in my book. 

    This is Dooney and Bourke's Floretine Satchel. Look at it! LOOK! It is the most amazing purse ever and I can't get it out of my mind. I found this purse about six or seven months ago when I went to Dillard's to find a replacement for my current purse, yes it looked bad that long ago... I was being sensible at first, looking at the fossil bags and clearance. But when I didn't find anything I liked there I ventured to the other side of the aisle and found a bag worth waiting for.
     This last weekend I went down to Birmingham and went to the Macy's, we don't have a Macy's in Huntsville, anyway I showed this bag off to Pam who thought it was very nice but could never spend that money on a bag, did I mention its $398? Well, since I can't spend that money on a bag either I asked the salesman if he knew of any sales coming up and you know what, they go 25% off! Then I just happened to remember that my sister works at Macy's in Idaho and she gets an employee discount!
     I know that I am suppose to own this bag and I will tell you why. It's not only because my wonderful, beautiful and talented sister is going to help me get it for cheap but its also because I won.
     I was at Costco buying a couple things for the house. There were of course lines to the movies and the lady in front of me had a whole shopping cart full of stuff, like an uncommon amount of stuff even for Costco. When she went to pay, she handed the cashier a printed check that the cashier scanned and it took off the money. The lady behind me commented on it saying that she hadn't gotten her rewards check yet and that it was at the end of your statement, which I just so happend to have in my purse. 
      My items rang up for $21 dollars and I used the check I had to pay. I noticed my check was for more and I just assumed that I would have a credit towards Costco. Nope, she handed me back $370 dollars! I WON!! OMG! I WONNN!

      The exact amount of money I needed. Why thank you universe, I will buy that bag. 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

You Stupid Bitch...

    I want to start off by saying thank you to my readers. I know a lot of you found me on Pinterest, a truly amazing tool, and have possibly enjoyed recreating my recipes or am I being overly presumptuous? Never the less, most of the views I get are for my blog on my diy make-up setter . It is extremely thrilling to see my blog being repinned all over and hearing people talk about how much money they will save by making the make-up setter. SHARE with me... No, okay.

    With that being said, let me get into the title of this particular post, there are some dumb bitches out there in the world. We all know 'em, we all are guilty of being 'em at one point or another but I would just like to single out a couple people and I am sorry if it is you but seriously I can't hold my tongue any longer.

    So I had this one lady comment saying that the setter made her face feel sticky and she asked what she could do. I didn't reply, I know that was a dick move but the answer was right there in my blog, she just had to read one more paragraph. When someone else did reply to her trying to help and said , "add some witch hazel and a little rubbing alcohol" though, I felt like I was a victim of PLAGIARISM!

    Seriously, that was the answer and I was being too much of a cock to just repeat myself to this poor reader who just didn't read far enough into the post where I told her exactly what to do if it was sticky. Blame it on all the teachers who sent me back to my seat to read the chapter again, or rather for real this time, for taking out some passive aggressiveness on her. But as soon as I saw that someone else had replied to her using my very answer, I was all over that shit.

   Of course I was kind about it because people actually read that post, and possibly the comments, so it's not like I can be a sarcastic ass about it, and say exactly what I am thinking, like I do on my facebook. I was kind and repeated the reasons why it could be sticky and shared my personal experiences with it, telling her I wore it all day mowing the lawn, and my make up still looked perfect and it wasn't sticky after adding the small amount of rubbing alcohol.

    The tipping point today, though was when this other lady commented on the blog to tell me that baby oil was just glycerin and fragrance. You know, in all fairness, she may have been confused. I mean they are both clear liquids and have similar viscosities. I myself had to go and grab a bottle of baby oil and read the ingredients list just to make sure that I wasn't losing my fucking mind.

    Sure enough, I had not, baby oil is still made from oil. Mineral oil and fragrance. Again, I commented and didn't even point out the fact that she was wrong, I held my tongue and applauded her for recognizing that mineral oil is actually a very useful beauty product. It is great for removing eye make up and other oil based make ups. But the problem with it is that lots of people find it clogs their pores. So I suggested using olive oil as it will moisturize  successfully remove the make up and dirts and won't clog your pores.

   You see, that was some quick thinking on my part, I know how to turn on the cheese when I need to. But the truth is, I joked around and made fun of this comment all damn day long. I still can't stop laughing at it. Not so much that she was wrong in thinking that it was glycerin but more because I was able to turn it around when all I really wanted to say was, "you stupid bitch... try mixing baby OIL and water together in a bottle and tell me how well it works out for you."